This was so absurd we almost thought it was a deliberate joke

This one was so absurd, we almost thought it was a deliberate joke. But we got a ton of questions and were compelled to investigate.

A story getting traction today concerns the New York Police Department handcuffing “Twilight” megastar Robert Pattinson. You read that correctly.

“Why on earth… would the hunky Rob… invite the wrath of the cops?” asks the site that started the rumor, which was then picked up elsewhere.

How about a fictional (and incomprehensible) tale of identity theft?

Pattinson “got entangled in the mazy web of law,” states the article, when a guy with “similar kind of hair” impersonated the actor, who, according to the story, had “lost” his billfold earlier. Pattinson then received a call from the police “to come down to a small food mart.” Since he had “just got out of the shower,” says the site, Pattinson “didn’t have [his] usual look,” and so the cops arrested him instead of the impersonator.

What? Huh?? This makes NO SENSE!

Hold on – it gets even more absurd.

Kristen Stewart was on the scene and reportedly “confronted the cops,” “intervening in the nick of time.”

[confused silence]

Um, what?

[stares]

Seriously: What. Is. Going. On. Here?

Let’s get this straight. A gigantic movie star loses his wallet, reports it, the police tell him to come down to an unidentified store, they mistake him for a crook because he was freshly showered, and then an equally famous co-star conveniently comes by to clear things up?

Because we’re gluttons for punishment, Gossip Cop contacted the New York City Police Department, just to make sure there was zero truth to the silliest thing we’ve read in weeks. Probably months. Not surprisingly, they had never heard of any incident with Pattinson.